One morning I was journaling at a million miles an hour, wishing my mind was calm enough to meditate. It had been a little over a month since my mom had passed away from alzheimer's, and I realized it was the first time in my life that I didn’t have to factor in another person’s needs when planning my life since I was about 19. I had always had a mate, husband or family member that depended on me in some way.. It was an amazing, exciting feeling and so began the following inner dialog:
Excited Me: What’s next?! What have I always wanted to do?
Scared Me: Go to Europe, travel any and everywhere while meeting cool people.
Excited Me: Why don’t I?
Scared Me: I have no one to go with. Friends always say they want to go here and there, but no one ever commits.
Excited Me: Why don’t I go myself?
Scared Me: I have no idea what I’m doing and I’m terrified of getting lost, not having a place to stay, doing something stupid to solidify the belief that Americans are jerks.
Excited Me: Really? THAT is why I won’t go, because I am scared of essentially doing something “stupid” ?
Scared Me: Well, yes. (I know it’s ludicrous.)
Excited Me- aloud: I am not going to let fear dictate my actions anymore. This is bullshit. I am going to Europe and I am going in February”!
I literally yelled that last sentence out loud, and jumped out of my seat feeling like I lost a bagillion pounds. I gave notice on my apartment the next morning ( I need deadlines) and proceeded to make a plan for how I am going to help people all over the globe to find their happy by conquering our fears together. And I knew it was going to be huge.
Excited Me: What’s next?! What have I always wanted to do?
Scared Me: Go to Europe, travel any and everywhere while meeting cool people.
Excited Me: Why don’t I?
Scared Me: I have no one to go with. Friends always say they want to go here and there, but no one ever commits.
Excited Me: Why don’t I go myself?
Scared Me: I have no idea what I’m doing and I’m terrified of getting lost, not having a place to stay, doing something stupid to solidify the belief that Americans are jerks.
Excited Me: Really? THAT is why I won’t go, because I am scared of essentially doing something “stupid” ?
Scared Me: Well, yes. (I know it’s ludicrous.)
Excited Me- aloud: I am not going to let fear dictate my actions anymore. This is bullshit. I am going to Europe and I am going in February”!
I literally yelled that last sentence out loud, and jumped out of my seat feeling like I lost a bagillion pounds. I gave notice on my apartment the next morning ( I need deadlines) and proceeded to make a plan for how I am going to help people all over the globe to find their happy by conquering our fears together. And I knew it was going to be huge.